


Seeing

by PFDiva



Series: Sburb Family Reunion [2]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, Headcanon, Post-Sburb/Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-07
Updated: 2013-04-07
Packaged: 2017-12-07 19:19:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/752079
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose has a long-overdue discussion with Alpha Rose about the implications of having Vision Omnifold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Seeing

You don't expect her to be at your door.

It has been three years since Sburb ended, and all of you have moved on.

Dave has taken to the stock market, John's interning at his father's company while he goes to college, Jade's wowing the people at your mother's company with her genius and creativity, and you work for a telemarketing company, researching "prospect" phone numbers and addresses.

As for your alternate universe counterparts: Dirk, Roxy, Jane, and Jake, they are all similarly occupied, with college and work and internships, though they admittedly hold little interest for you as people.

As other Sburb players, and alternate versions of you and your friends' respective guardians, they are fascinating, and you have the chance to observe them annually.

Someone orchestrated a type of family reunion, in which the 18 of you, all players and all guardians (Plus Jade's Becquerel), gather to celebrate your lives, your continued existences, and the fact that Sburb has ended.

Going to the reunions also allows you the unique opportunity to observe the alternate versions of you and your friends, as well.

They all knew each other.

On the one hand, it was somewhat surprising, but on the other, it wasn't a shock.

With the except of the alternate Jade, they were all public figures.

And even the alternate Jade was rich enough to merit notice from the media.

But it was not that observation that drove you to avoid them.

It was the fact that your alternate self knew about Kanaya.

Not just trolls in general, or the Condesce in particular.

Kanaya.

Your matesprit-slash-wife.

Someone she should have never known existed until you mentioned her.

But at the first reunion, she'd greeted you by asking after Kanaya.

And when you'd gaped at her in shock, she'd chuckled.

"Seer of Light, remember? It carried over."

You'd excused yourself to the bathroom, and quietly had a panic attack.

You've avoided her ever since.

Until now.

She's standing on your doorstep with a cardboard box under her arm, a painfully gentle smile on her face, and a cellphone in her free hand.

She pockets the cellphone when she sees you.

"I understand and respect your desire to flee from my existence, but until you accept me, you will stagnate indefinitely, and the others will leave you behind."

That hurts, and though her expression doesn't change, you know she knows.

Dave and John do not avoid their alternate selves, but they literally have nothing to discuss with one another, so they don't bother trying. Intriguingly, the older versions have the same type of semi-antagonistic friendship that the younger versions do.

Besides you, they are the only ones who do not socialize with their alternate selves.

Jade and her alternate enjoy one another greatly, as well as the Jakes their respective ages.

You're not sure how the Jakes and Janes get along with each other, though your mother and Roxy seem to enjoy one another's presences greatly, when they bother to associate with one another.

You do know that Dirk and Dave's brother always disappear for the duration of the reunions.

You assume they do something together while absent.

You can't imagine what.

Regardless, the implication that Dave and John, of all people, will leave you behind, developmentally, hurts a lot more than you would like it to.

You respect Dave and John for what they are capable of, but there are some skills you possess that they lack.

You stand aside, and she walks in.

Your house and hers look exactly the same, structurally, though you've opted to concede to your mother's rather eccentric design decisions.

It turned out she genuinely enjoyed wizards. Who knew?

The other Rose settles herself on the couch, arranging her box in her lap and waiting for you to choose a seat.

Like yourself, you are certain she is aware that if you sit too close to her, it will be an intentional impingement on her personal space, but if you choose a seat too far away, or on the other side of the table, you will be purposefully distancing yourself from her.

You compromise by sitting on the table in front of her.

It's an aggressive gesture, but she accepts it by sitting back and opening the box, setting aside its lid.

It's full of art, journals, notebooks, and more.

You see your God Tier symbol and Dave's repeated a lot, as well as Kanaya's personal symbol.

And, of course, the purple crescent representing Derse.

"What's this?"

"Insanity."

She sets aside the art, piece by piece, and you recognize childish drawings of your companions on the meteor, Bec Noir and Bec Blanche, John's God Tier outfit, the dead things floating in the jars on the meteor, and more.

"You're not insane."

"Of course not, but when you are five and determined to get to another dimension by navigating through monsters that would give Lovecraft nightmares so that you can defeat a dog-headed man with wings and tentacles, people tend to assume you are."

Your heart convulses sympathetically.

You could only just barely cope with your life.

And you lived it.

"That wasn't my fault."

"I know. Now."

This is not how you pictured this going.

She sets aside the box.

"But I hated you for a very, very long time. I hated your existence, I hated your life with your loving mother and your own home, and I absolutely, absolutely hated the fact that everything I thought I was could be attributed to the fact that you'd lived."

You feel very small and selfish and immature.

When she'd said that being a Seer of Light had carried over, you'd only considered how that would affect you, the fact that she would be intimately acquainted with your mind and thought processes.

You hadn't considered what it would do to her, especially raised as an orphan, the way she must have been.

Jade's grandfather and John's grandmother had been raised by the Condesce, as had the alternate versions of Jade and John.

They all readily shared that.

You know, in a distant sense, that Dave's brother and the alternate Dave had grown up in a series of foster homes, developing their unique personality flaws, whilst you suspect your mother had been raised in the lab that no longer existed, based on the bedroom you found, and what you knew about Roxy.

You'd never wondered how your alternate had been raised.

She smiles kindly.

"On the plus side, traveling from foster home to foster home meant that I was never institutionalized. When my oddness got too strange to handle, they'd merely send me back."

It feels like her smile has adopted a sinister, unpleasant edge, but you suspect that you are projecting your guilt onto her face.

"Due to the way paradox space worked out, all of these pictures and journals were collected in one box in the back of a closet, because I was given parents in the final reset that brought us all back. In the life I lived, most of them were lost, though I could never forget what I'd written or drawn, no matter how hard I tried."

You nod slowly, the only response you have in your arsenal.

"Of course, I no longer hate you. There is no reason to. Your path was chosen for you, just as mine was chosen for me, and you very literally did the best you were capable of with the knowledge you had."

This does not reassure you.

"I will admit that I had nightmares about the voices beyond the furthest ring for years, though."

You will never regret your time while grimdark, because it was useful and important, and of course necessary to maintaining the Alpha timeline, but even without the looming spectre of Bec Noir, traveling through the furthest reaches was not an enjoyable time period for you.

"I'm sorry."

You can't meet her gaze anymore, and are absorbed in the carpet, which could use a good vacuuming.

It's been a while since your mother has done it.

"I've been so absorbed in myself, and how you knowing my life affected my perception of myself that I never bothered to consider you in all of this. How discussing these things would help you validate all the thoughts and impressions you inherited from me. I'm sorry."

"You're young, so I can excuse all of that. And again, I've largely dealt with all of this. I won't deny that discussion with you would help, but my primary purpose in coming to you today was to help better YOU. Your mother is worried about you, and she thought I could help."

"I feel foolish."

"Understandable."

"And guilty."

"Unnecessary, but also understandable."

You bristle at the implication that you should feel foolish, lifting your head to glare at her. She giggles, and you can't help but smile as well.

"I /have/ been very foolish these past years, haven't I?"

"Understandably so, but yes."

With the tension broken, you feel comfortable gripping the edge of the table between your thighs and kicking your feet childishly.

You are very mature for your age, but she's in her mid-thirties. Possibly older.

There's a lot you can learn from her.


End file.
